Have you been with your partner for several years? When is the last time you surprised them with a romantic outing, or took them out for a nice dinner? When is the last time you flirted with them, complimented them or got them a spontaneous gift just to see the smile?
Often what happens in long term relationships is that we get comfortable and we stop trying to “woo” our partner. We have become committed, so the romance and charm from the beginning of the relationship has slipped away. Being in a long term committed union can be a beautiful thing, because it brings with it a deep trust and understanding of your partner. You have worked through a lot of things together, you have weathered many storms and you accept each other for who you are.
However, why not bring back the excitement and romance of the giddy “honeymoon period” back again every now and then? Remember the butterflies in your stomach when you would think of them, or the thrill of planning the perfect date and looking forward to it? Remember getting dressed up in your best and showing your most flirtatious and charming side? Remember how exciting it all felt when you treated each other in this wonderful and special way?
If you can’t remember the last time you went on a “date” and you spend most evenings curled up at home on the couch in your PJs, it might be time to consider adding some romance back into your relationship. There’s nothing wrong with snuggling and watching Netflix, but every now and then it’s worth doing something that will make you both feel special.
So how can you add more romance back into your relationship, even when you have been together for years? Here are some tips:
- Figure out what your partner’s Love Language is and think about how you can communicate with them in a way that is meaningful to them.
- Think of little things that you can do every day to show you care, such as making a cup of tea or getting them their favourite type of chocolate bar when you go to the shops.
- Give your partner genuine, meaningful complements. Notice things that they do well or things you appreciate about them and tell them in an honest way. This type of heartfelt communication is incredibly meaningful.
- Don’t underestimate the importance of having time apart too. Encourage your partner to spend an evening out with their friends and do the same yourself. Being independent and having your own interests and personalities will make your relationship stronger.
- Put some effort into spicing up your sex life. Initiate sex spontaneously, suggest a new position, have sex in a different room of the house, buy some sensual lingerie or a new toy to experiment with. Remind your partner that you find them attractive and you enjoy being intimate with them.
- Take your partner out for a special dinner date at a fancy restaurant. You can leave it a surprise, just tell them to get dressed nicely and you can whisk them away to somewhere that will take their breath away. For example, did you know that there are London Valentine’s Day Restaurant Cruises where you can enjoy luxury dining on a boat sailing down the Thames?
- Speak highly of your partner in social settings, rather than putting them down or making jokes at their expense.
- Do something to take the pressure off your partner, such as cleaning the house or taking something to the post office for them. They will appreciate the extra time in their schedule.
- Be spontaneous and adventurous and suggest trying something new – such as London River Cruises, a new activity, film or restaurant. The excitement of experiencing something new will bring you closer together as you share the experience.
The key to all of this is not to take the relationship for granted. Don’t assume that your partner simply knows how important they are to you. Maybe they do know, but it doesn’t hurt to remind them every now and then of how special they are. With a little bit of effort and creativity, you can make them feel loved and appreciated for the rest of your lives.